Monday, May 10, 2010

Those Rare Moments

I had to put together something of a bio/personal statement for a project recently, and it made me think about a lot of things in terms of the industry, my place in it, what success means, what I'm doing here, etc.  I won't post the whole thing, but here is a little of what I came up with:

...However, primarily because of the exhilaration I have felt being on certain sets, being around certain artists, I have come to the realization that yes, while earning money is a necessary part of living as an actor, my ultimate goal is now to find a place of creative freedom; a place or path that allows me to continually grow as an artist while sustaining me financially.

This road is not an easy one as I've discovered.  Sure, the SoCal weather is great and I've gotten to experience some pretty cool things.  But, there are those days when I question my life decision.  There are the days when the bills are piling up or when I should go the doctor to get another sports injury checked; those days I miss the security of my old business job -- a consistent paycheck, insurance, heck, a retirement plan!  There are the days when having to do odd jobs or extra work feels so humiliating and pointless that I almost want to say forget it and go back to the 'real world.'  There are the days when the frustration of not even getting a chance to show what I can do is almost enough to drive me out of town.  There are many days

But then there are those fleeting moments in class, or when doing a one-act play in front of a handful of people, or on set seeing an actor deliver a line just so, or in working on a small independent film with like-minded folks who have an affinity for the craft...  Those rare moments of emotional truth, of feeling, of connection; those brief but oh-so-addictive moments that serve to remind me why I'm doing this.  And those moments are just enough to carry me through in the hopes that another one is just around the corner.

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