BIO-Hazard

For those of you involved with theatre, and those who go to theatre, you are familiar with the "Actor's Bio" usually found in the program. These are tougher to write than you'd think -- talking about oneself in the third person, listing favorite roles, trying not to sound foolish or a braggart. Sometimes they are funny, sometimes thoughtful; some use the space to make a statement or thank friends and family for support.

Well, I went to show recently that a friend was in, and she was great. And her bio was very normal and nice. But there was an actor in the show, who shall remain nameless, who wrote a bio that I had to read over two or three times because I couldn't believe what I was reading. Here's some of it (and it is not tongue-in-cheek, this actor is apparently very serious about his work...)

"It's impossible to squeeze decades of work onto a few lines in a bio. (Mr. Actor)'s voice work alone would fill this program. Suffice it to say, (Mr. Actor) started on the stage at age 5...spent 15 years in New York, mostly on Broadway...(Mr. Actor) is busy in all phases of the business..."

Hmm, wonder if The Onion is hiring...